Before you’re a leader, you’re a human being. And the people you lead? They’re human too. We all stumble, question ourselves, and face moments of distraction or feeling overwhelmed. What matters most is not perfection, but how we learn, grow, and rise together.
At times, we lose sight of these basic truths. We can become drawn into the shallow illusions of power that some attach to leadership, or we may fall into the blame game that weaker leaders rely on—a reminder that these flaws are, regrettably, part of being human as well.
We let ego or the desire to be popular put the spotlight on being named the “leader,” when all we’re really doing is darkening the rest of the room where our shared purpose should be illuminated. It’s easy to enjoy the glint of light that sparkles from the plaques on our desks that announce our title, just as it’s easy to shirk responsibility and blame your team. But here’s the catch, my friends, the buck really does stop with us because as leaders we serve our teams, not the other way around. You’re allowed to have a bad day once in a while. So are they. And guess who they turn to when they need someone to tell them they’re going to be okay?
Titles don’t replace empathy. And they don’t bestow competency. What accompanies a bestowed title is a heavy mantle of responsibility to others. A title without awareness of those we lead is like a castle built on shifting sands, vulnerable to the winds of change and the erosion of trust. But don’t worry, with trust, we have a lot of tools. Of course, a good leader not only applies the tools at their disposal but also recognizes the ones they still need to acquire, tools like: emotional intelligence, clear communication, authenticity, adaptability, and the capacity to build connections. These are all human traits. True leadership starts with recognizing humanity—both yours and theirs. That’s the foundation of trust, connection, and real impact.
And part of recognizing our mutual humanity is learning that displaying kindness as a leader is actually a show of strength. Kindness should never be viewed as a weakness. Those we lead should be able to relate to us, not fear us. We gain the respect of others by allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, not by hiding behind titles or organizational hierarchies. The people who you lead should see you has a human, not as a suit or a white coat. Uniforms, real or imagined, are as meaningless as titles if they are empty. Authentic leaders shoulder responsibility, make meaningful contributions, and lead selflessly in times of need.
When you are vulnerable—when you let your true self show—respect is rapidly given to you. Authentic leaders who have earned their titles through diligent effort and consistently putting other people—colleagues, employees, customers, patients—first will have legions of loyal helpers who will focus on accomplishing the purpose at hand. Because they feel treated with respect, they return respect. People follow others’ actions—good or bad—so when you set the example by how you treat others, those in your organization will emulate that example. And don’t we all want to experience kindness? Why would we allow our workplaces to be any different?
Part of a leader’s willingness to be vulnerable is about not being afraid to admit mistakes. Sometimes as leaders, we must even admit mistakes we didn’t make because the health of the organization and the morale of its people will benefit if we do. When we take ownership of an error we or the organization has made and we actively demonstrate that we’re better for the learning that came from the error, others take note. In this way lessons spread out among others, like the way the light from a candle reaches into the shadows in a spreading circle.
It is in these qualities of being human—acting with kindness, displaying vulnerability, focusing on actions, displaying respect—that we see how leadership creates real and lasting value for the organization. When leaders possess such qualities, they guide organizations that prove resilient even in the darkest times, regardless of the ground they stand on. Whether in moments of stability or crisis, their authenticity inspires trust, and people continue to rely on them. Their leadership is not a façade but a beacon that illuminates the path for others.
The first step toward becoming that kind of light is realizing leadership isn’t about you—it’s about the people you serve. And it’s worth remembering: without those around you, you’re left standing alone.
Originally posted on Forbes.com